Craps. If only I knew this was how to act, I wouldn't have talked about the time I woke up to blood-soaked briefs the week after I got my piercing.

My bright moment of the day, from Felice:
"You haven't seen the third installment of LOTR? What is wrong with you, boyo? Well, I will catch you up on the story... Aragorn... defects from Middle Earth, taking Arwen and Eowyn with him and begins a Utopian polygamist colony; Gandalf gets fired as the white-Wizard and ends up working in a department store as Santa Claus; Frodo and Sam finally give in to their passions and fly to Hawaii to get married."

Hey, where do I get my ticket to ride to this Utopian polygamist colony???